JoCo Loco: The Best Drink of the Best Cruise with the Best People Ever is the Wang Wang

We just got back from our second JoCo cruise, and once again it was one of the best weeks imaginable.

If you’ve thus far been spared my in-person rhapsodizing, JoCo is an annual week-long cruise that features artists, musicians, writers, and other talented nerd culture-friendly people. The attendees are known as Sea Monkeys and contribute programming to the official schedule just as much as the headline guests; in addition to concerts, book readings, and discussion panels with the named guests, the Sea Monkeys themselves run sing-alongs (Alexander Jamilton, anyone?), crafting, scavenger hunts, lectures on various topics, writing workshops, and so, so, so many games. All the games. A 24-hour game library. Beta testing of as-yet-unreleased games. Games in the dining room. Games on deck. Video games. RPG games. Board games. Dice games.

In short, there is never a shortage of things to do onboard even if lazing in the sun drinking something fruity isn’t your jam. And if it *is* your jam – well, make sure you get some sleep at some point, because your days and nights are going to be full.

A few highlights from this year:

• My cousins Alex and Maria came along, which was fun for all of us – we were able to find a balance between togetherness and apartness that worked for everyone. Playing on the beach in Half Moon Cay was a highlight.
• I ate seafood at every single meal for the entire week. If I die of mercury poisoning, I think we’ll all know why.
• Drinking rum at a roadside shack in the mountains of Tortola, which was beautiful in an austere, non-curated-for-tourists way. We also visited the oldest rum distillery in the Caribbean.
• Mofongo, arepas, and the best mojitos ever at a little bar in San Juan.
• A long, wine-filled dinner and conversation with Annie and Dan, a couple from Princeton that I met on last year’s cruise.
• Jean Grae and the incredible positivity of The Church of the Infinite You. My description wouldn’t do it justice, but everyone should walk out of their church of choice feeling so uplifted.
• Geek Prom, a mostly-80s themed dance DJ’d by John Scalzi. It was like the ending scene of the best teen movie never filmed, full of happy, exuberant people dancing their hearts out unselfconsciously. I’d be hard-pressed to choose a favorite fellow participant: the man in the 3 Musketeers hat? The transgender woman with the pink Mohawk and sequined dress? The giant light-up glasses? The group dressed in Hogwarts formalwear, or the many stylish fez options? The googly-eye tiara? The pirate hat? Mouse ears? The stuffed shark (Shork!) with her own Twit-arr feed?
• The concert in San Juan got rained out before They Might Be Giants performed, and soggy happy Monkeys crowded under the tents and sang and drank beer until we were finally banished back to the ship. The staff and crew worked a series of miracles that led up to the announcement, “They Might Be Giants” will begin a concert right now and will stop at 5 minutes before midnight so John can get off the boat before it sails.” The near-instantaneous abandoning of every public space on the ship has been referred to as “the nerd rapture” and it’s pretty damn accurate.
• The decommissioning of the Legoosterdam, including removing crocodiles from the pool and taking down the ion cannons. And Santa. And the kraken.
• Spending a week with the most exuberant, creative, accepting, open-hearted group of people I've ever had the pleasure of being among. The stuff you do on the cruise is fun, but it's the people that really make this an extraordinary event. 
• Discovering (on the last day! – a tragedy) the marvelous WangWang, the unofficial tropical drink of Sea Monkeys everywhere, which puts mojitos and daiquiris to shame and even eclipses the legendary Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster.

I found a great balance between relaxing and participating, and my FOMO was under control this year. Best of all? I get to do it again next year!

Wait, wait, you say – what’s this WangWang? How can it possibly be better than a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster (which admittedly is much more exciting-looking)? Can I make one at home? Will it transport me to the tropics? Is it safe to drink more than one? (Answer: I’ll tell you. You’ll have to drink both and see for yourself, but I’m sure you’ll agree with me, and this will rip your head off much more efficiently. Yes, if you have a well-stocked liquor cabinet. Undoubtedly. Probably not but I’m not going to judge you.)

Best Drink of the Best Cruise with the Best People Ever: The Wang-Wang

Courtesy of the Filipino bartenders of the Holland America Cruise line

¼ oz vodka
¼ oz gin
¼ oz white rum
¼ oz Scotch
¼ oz Bourbon
¼ oz tequila
¼ oz Triple Sec
¼ oz brandy
1 ½ oz. pineapple juice
1 ½ oz. orange juice
Splash of grenadine

Mix everything except the grenadine together and pour over ice into a tall, fancy glass that looks like it belongs on a cruise ship. Top with a splash of grenadine. Optionally garnish with a maraschino cherry, orange slice, and/or pineapple wedge, but there’s nothing wrong with a naked Wang Wang. What happens on the cruise ship stays on the cruise ship!