The Second Most Comforting Thing I Know How to Cook

Sometimes you just need comfort food. 

It's never healthy - nobody turns to salad for solace on a sad, gray, overcast day when they're fighting with their significant other and not getting anything done at work and mentally recalling every stupid decision they've ever made. Comfort food should be hot and squishy and full of fat and calories; it should fill you up physically and emotionally and, preferably, taste really good straight out of the fridge and not require very much chewing. 

This is the stuff. It has 7 (seven!!!) kinds of dairy products (for the purposes of hyperbole, we're going to assume that Velveeta is actually a dairy product) and it is freakin' fantastic. This recipe was given to me by a former co-worker who took his mac and cheese very seriously indeed. His endorsement of the recipe was so heartfelt and detailed, I broke one of the Cardinal Rules of Entertaining and cooked it, completely totally untested, for 80 people at my 40th birthday party. It did not disappoint. 

If you feel inclined to substitute anything low- or non-fat for any of the ingredients below, please go find another recipe. 

Chaz 'n Cheese 

1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 pound elbow macaroni
8 tablespoons (1 stick) plus 1 tablespoon butter
1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded Muenster cheese
1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded mild Cheddar cheese
1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded sharp Cheddar cheese
1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded Monterey Jack
2 cups half-and-half
1 cup (8 ounces) Velveeta , cut into small cubes
2 large eggs , lightly beaten
1/4 teaspoon seasoned salt
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly (ha! as if that will make a difference!) butter a deep 2 1/2-quart casserole.

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil over high heat. Add the oil, then the elbow macaroni, and cook until the macaroni is just tender, about 7 minutes. Do not overcook. Drain well. Return to the cooking pot.

In a small saucepan, melt eight tablespoons of the butter. Stir into the macaroni. In a large bowl, mix the Muenster, mild and sharp Cheddar, and Monterey Jack cheeses. To the macaroni, add the half-and-half, 1 1/2 cups of the shredded cheese, the cubed Velveeta, and the eggs. Season with salt and pepper. Transfer to the buttered casserole. Sprinkle with the remaining 1/2 cup of shredded cheese and dot with the remaining one tablespoon of butter.

Bake until it's bubbling around the edges, about 35 minutes.  

This recipe doubles, triples, and quadruples beautifully, depending on how many people you're feeding or how much comfort food you think you need. Chaz claims you can make this in advance and hold it in the fridge without baking for day or two if you add a little extra liquid; I haven't personally tried that but he was right about everything else he said about this recipe. He also says that it keeps for at least 3 days but the leftovers have never lasted long enough for me to test that, either.