It Ain’t No Corn Dog: Crabby BLTs

People often ask, “But what do you eat?!?!” when they hear David’s list of dietary restrictions. Our answer is usually, “Everything else!” because there really is an enormous world of food to choose from.  Gluten really isn’t even the biggest problem anymore; it’s much harder to avoid paprika and potatoes.

When, exactly, did they get so grown-up?

We were feeling especially deprived during our picnic lunch at the zoo last Sunday, which featured these sandwiches, the brainchild of my physical therapist Stephanie. I don’t know if this is something she’s eaten at a restaurant or her own decadent genius suggestion, but we certainly felt bad for everyone eating corn dogs and nacho chips for lunch that day. Our picnic cooler comes equipped with plates and silverware and cloth napkins, so we dined in style near the fountain.

I’m a big fan of the Lee Brothers cookbooks, the source of the crab salad portion of this recipe. It comes from the Lee Brothers SouthernCookbook, which I came across at Zingerman’s Roadhouse during brunch with my grad school friend Jen. Our outstanding waiter offered to have the Lee brothers sign my cookbook and send it along to me later, since they were going to be a theme event later that week; I’m only sorry that I missed the event, because I had no idea what I huge fan of theirs I was about to become.  I was going to say this is my favorite recipe, but I love the pimento cheese. And the collard greens. And the corn macque choux. And the fried chicken. And the sour orange mojitos. Everything I’ve tried from this cookbook, in fact, with the notable exception of the Cheerwine cocktail; there’s not enough gin in the world to make that stuff taste good.

As for the rest of the ingredients – well, this would be even more amazing between two slices of challah, which is not on the GF-approved list of foods; and of course, use the best-quality bacon you can find.

Crab Salad BLTs

For the crab salad:

6 oz. crabmeat (get the really good stuff from the seafood counter – trust me on this)

3 tablespoons mayonnaise

2 tablespoons fresh lime juice (worth the bother of juicing the lime, in this case)

3 tablespoons finely diced red onion

1 ½ teaspoons minced fresh tarragon

Salt and pepper to taste 

For the sandwiches:

2 slices bread per person, toasted, or a good-quality roll

3 pieces good-quality bacon, cooked and drained

Leaf lettuce

Tomato slices

Mix all the crab salad ingredients together and salt and pepper to taste. When you assemble the sandwich, put the lettuce next to the bread so the mayo doesn’t soak through and ruin your bread; you’re going to want to eat this slowly and enjoy every bite. If you’re picnicking, pack all the ingredients separately and assemble right before you eat, which isn’t nearly as big a bother as it sounds. 

I Can't Believe We Made It To the End of the School Year: Baked Kibbeh with Onion Topping

Yesterday was the last day of the school year, and the intense two-week sprint to the finish line has left all of us exhausted (science projects! research papers! catching up on an entire quarter of math homework! and fun fun fun in the form of events that require me to drive up to school fifty times a day). Yesterday was also my husband's birthday, and I wanted to make him a nice dinner that really didn't require a lot of effort on my part, because it was a busy day and I'm tired and it took less than 3 hours before we experienced The First Pre-Teen Hormonal Meltdown of the Summer. Kibbeh to the rescue! 

Kibbeh is one of my favorite foods, in all its forms - and there are many, many forms to choose from. The little football-shaped version you get at Middle Eastern restaurants is excellent but there's no way I was frying anything; our microwave broke recently and we have an interim one that sits on the countertop and takes up all the space next to the stove, so setting up a rack to drain them was out of the question. I can't find my usual layered baked kibbeh recipe. I didn't think my kids or in-laws would appreciate the raw version (although that was about the level of effort I felt up to at 5 p.m.).

This version came to the rescue: a baked kibbeh that goes into the oven in about 2 minutes and looks gorgeous when it’s done, thanks to the carmelized onion topping. I’ve seen a number of versions online and have fiddled with it enough that I can make it without looking at someone else’s recipe; it’s a great go-to when I want something a little bit fancy without a ton of work or a trip to the grocery store. I’ve also cut this into little squares and served it as an appetizer, sort of like a meat bruschetta. Which actually sounds kind of gross, now that I think about it.

Feel free to substitute coarse-ground bulghur if you’re so inclined. I’ve found that I actually prefer kibbeh made with quinoa as it’s a bit more flavorful than wheat; cook it in advance and keep it in the fridge, and you can have this ready to go in the time it takes your oven to heat up.

Baked Kibbeh with Onion Topping

1 lb. ground lamb

¾ - 1 cup cooked quinoa

3 large onions

1 teaspoon cinnamon, divided

½ teaspoon allspice

½ - ¾ cup pine nuts

½ cup currants

2 tablespoon pomegranate molasses

Salt and pepper

Olive oil

Preheat the oven to 375.

Put one of the onions in the food processor and chop finely. Add the meat, quinoa, ½ teaspoon of cinnamon, and some salt and pepper and process until the mixture is very soft and pasty; this takes longer than just processing it until it’s combined.

Pat the meat mixture evenly into a pan; if you have a large springform or tart pan (at least 10” in diameter), feel free to use that, otherwise a large rectangular Pyrex baking dish will work just fine. Drizzle a couple of teaspoons of olive oil over the top and spread it evenly, then bake for about 30 minutes.

While this is baking, heat a few tablespoons of olive oil in a large skillet. Slice the remaining two onions thinly, then cook in the oil until they are very soft and well-browned (similar to the topping for mjadara). Add the pine nuts, currants, remaining ½ teaspoon cinnamon, allspice, salt, pepper, and pomegranate molasses, then stir and cook for another few minutes.

Take the meat out of the oven. Cut the meat into wedges or squares (depending on what shape pan you used) and put on a serving platter of some kind. Put a portion of the carmelized onion mixture on top of each piece and serve. Good hot or room temperature.

Welcome to Summer: Totemic Potato Salad

I don't generally consider myself to be A Food Purist, but there is only one right way to make potato salad. We had friends over for a dinner last weekend in which the Famous Morey Potato Salad played a starring role; since I've spent the better part of this weekend with those same friends AND summer has finally arrived for real, this seemed like a good time to share the recipe. I've made this on so many occasions and for so many different people that it's practically become totemic. Even people who think they don't like potato salad often like this one (if you're one of those people who thinks you don't like potato salad, I hope you're not confusing this with that nasty-ass stuff from Gordon Food Service, which can only be called "potato salad" in the furthest reaches of the marketing department's imagination.) 

I was going to take a picture of the potato salad but we ate it all.

The real deal is simple enough to make, even for a crowd (personal record: 80). My 40th birthday was an excuse to buy an enormous metal bowl that I refer to as the Cauldron of Awesomeness, specifically purchased so I can make sufficiently vast quantities when called for. It holds 20 pounds of potatoes with enough room to stir comfortably; is big enough to bathe the dog in (not, however, at the same time); and bringing it up from the storage shelf in the basement invariably means fun is afoot. 

Obviously I have no way of knowing what size recipe you'll need for your own summer fun, so I'm listing the ingredients per pound of potatoes. Scale accordingly. A few tips about ingredients: 

• Redskin potatoes are really the best here. You can substitute Idaho potatoes if you need to, but the texture and flavor aren't the same. If you do substitute, peel the potatoes before cooking them. 
• Use Hellman's, please (unless you're making your own mayonnaise, which is freakin' awesome). Miracle Whip is not mayonnaise. I don't know what it is, exactly, but it's not mayonnaise. 
• You can use white vinegar if you don't have cider vinegar. 
• Mustard has no place in this potato salad. Nor do chopped bell peppers, pickle relish, garlic salt, pimentos, carrots, parsley, dill, Ranch dressing, cornstarch, butter, evaporated milk, bacon, cheese, horseradish, or any of the other weird ingredients I've seen. 

Famous Morey Potato Salad

For each pound of redskin potatoes:

3-4 green onions or 1 small white onion
1 large stalk celery
1 hard-boiled egg
1/2 cup Hellman's mayonnaise
splash of cider vinegar

Boil the potatoes until a fork goes in easily, then drain and cool. When the potatoes are cool enough to handle, peel off as much of the skin as you easily can and cut the potatoes into cubes. They don't need to be diced - this is not a delicate dish! - but you want to be able to get more than one piece of potato on your fork at once. 

Mince the onion and celery and add it to the bowl with the potatoes. Cut the egg in half, put the yolk in a small bowl, and chop the white. Add the chopped egg whites to the potatoes, then salt and pepper to taste.

Mash the yolk with a fork, then add the mayonnaise and a splash of vinegar. Mix well, then dip a potato cube in for a taste test. It should be creamy and eggy with just a little bit of tang from the vinegar; add more mayo or vinegar to suit yourself.

Add the mayo mixture to the potatoes and mix well. It should be a little gloppy at this point, since the potatoes will absorb some of the dressing. If you need to make more dressing, I highly recommend mixing it in the small bowl first and adding a little at a time.