Socially Distanced Lovechild Pie: Certainly Nothing to do with the Kentucky Derby

One of the unexpected upsides of the quarantine is that I’ve been baking lately, something I gave up a decade ago when David stopped eating gluten. For the most part, I think that gluten-free baking is a sad and joyless endeavor that results in a messy kitchen and a final product that reminds you of what you’re missing. There are exceptions, of course: David’s chocolate chip cookies are hands-down the best ones anywhere ever. Other than that….um…. GF pie crust, maybe? I mostly stick with things that aren’t supposed to have wheat flour in the first place so we don’t have to fiddle with substitutions and sadness (GF flour is the decaf coffee of the dessert world). I ordered some Namaste GF Flour Blend from Amazon in order to make a very specific recipe - I haven't yet, BTW - and having this large bag of 1-for-1 mix on hand has evidently been very inspiring. 

In an alternate universe, the weekend just past is one that we would have spent in northern Michigan with friends at the Sip & Savor wine tasting event. We went last year and had a fantastic time; it was literally the first weekend we’d ever gone away without the kids and it gave us a great preview of what we can expect from life as empty nesters. It also happens to be the weekend of the Kentucky Derby, which we watched last year, mint juleps in hand.

One of my very favorite bloggers in the whole wide world posted a recipe for something that is most emphatically NOT called Derby Pie, because Kern’s Kitchen will try to sue you for trademark infringement if you call it that in spite of the fact that Derby Pie is kind of a thing all over the South. It would be like trying to trademark the name “sweet tea.” Bless their hearts. (See also: Mean-Spirited Censorship Pie.)

As advertised, this version is like the kind of pecan pie that isn’t dripping with corn syrup and making your teeth stick together. But the crust is so tender and delicious and just barely crumbly. It’s sweet and rich with being overwhelming; a 3-bite serving is perfect and a 6-bite serving is almost but not quite too much, and would be wonderful with ice cream. Anna lobbied vigorously against the inclusion of pecans but eventually agreed that they were the perfect amount of texture that kept this from being Too Much, and commented that the end result tasted like a s'more and shortbread had a baby.

This recipe is adapted very slightly from Deb at SmittenKitchen, which is the best food blog ever and you should follow her and also buy her cookbooks. I only included the proportions I used – doubled from what she posted – first because I had 2 extra egg yolks in the fridge looking to get used but now because this is delicious and you should have more of it on hand. There’s not a lot left at this point but I’m going to cut it into bars and freeze it, and at some point soon I’m going to make some really fantastic ice cream featuring bourbon and thaw these out and feel happy all over again.

Socially Distanced Lovechild Pie, Which is Nothing AT ALL Like Derby Pie

CRUST
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon fine sea or table salt
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 cup unsalted butter (cold is fine)

FILLING
1 ½ sticks unsalted butter
2/3 cup dark brown sugar
2/3 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
2 large egg yolks
1/2 teaspoon coarse or kosher salt
2 tablespoon bourbon (Deb says it’s optional but nope)(also I used rye because we evidently drank all the bourbon)
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
12 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups chocolate chips
1 ½ cup toasted and coarsely chopped pecans

Heat the oven to 350°F and cut 2 lengths of parchment paper. Trim to fit a 9x12 pan. Press it into the bottom and sides of your pan in one direction, then use the second sheet to line the rest of the pan, perpendicular to the first sheet. A little nonstick spray underneath helps keep the strips in place.

Combine the flour, salt and sugar in the bowl of a food processor. Cut the butter into chunks, and add it to the bowl, then run the machine until the mixture forms large clumps. Transfer the dough to prepared baking pan and press it evenly across the bottom and 1/4-inch up the sides. Bake for 15-20 minutes, until very pale golden.

Melt the butter. Transfer it to a large bowl and let it cool. Whisk in the sugars until smooth, then eggs, yolks, salt, bourbon, and vanilla. Stir in the flour until just combined, then mix in the chocolate and nuts. Pour over par-baked crust, spreading evenly.

Bake the bars for 20-25 minutes or until the top is firm and golden. Store at room temperature for up to 3 days, or in the fridge for longer.