I’ll admit there was a little corner of my mind that was afraid 2020 was never going to end. I’d look at those memes that joked about the clock turning from 11:59 to 11:60 at midnight and give an uncomfortable little laugh – funny, but also not funny, amirite?
Now that we’re safely into 2021 by a couple of days – and let’s
be real, so far it’s really just the same thing – it feels okay to look back at
some things. Folks, we didn’t have the worst quarantine in the world. Yes, it
was hard not seeing people. Yes, masks are uncomfortable. Yes, the degree of fear
and uncertainty in the world right now is demoralizing. But we have been touched
so lightly by this overall that I feel bad for complaining. David still has his
job, the kids are doing as well (or better) in online school as they were in
person, none of us have been sick, our family and friends are still here. We
know many people who cannot say the same. And I’m well aware that it’s not over
yet even if the turning of a new calendar year has given us a much-needed boost
of optimism.
Christmas was a low-key affair, as it was for so many people;
and while our Almond Boneless Chicken feast is still traditional, we spent
Christmas Eve eating leftover curry in our pajamas rather than seeing the
extended family, and Solstice dinner happened a day late because John’s karate
test got rescheduled. All the more reason to make it really memorable.
Skeptics will look at this recipe and say, who the hell has pheasants
lying around? And when am I going to want to set something on fire? The answer
is: someone whose daughter’s boyfriend hunts (or has a good grocery store
nearby, or is willing to pay D’Artagan.com prices), and more often than you might
have supposed. Nothing ratchets up the festivities like fire! Chestnuts roasting
on an open fire, Yuletide carols being sung by a fire, Santa coming down the
chimney (okay, fire-adjacent, ideally), etc etc.
I’m not a fan of the current competition-driven version of The
Food Network, but back when their hosts were only moderately famous-ish people
without kitchenware product lines, I was a huge fan of the Two Fat Ladies. I discovered this show around the same time I discovered I loved food. In
my next life, I want to go toodling around the countryside in a motorcycle with
a sidecar, drinking and swearing and eating all the good things and meeting
interesting people. I don’t know why I don’t look at this cookbook more often because
it’s really not particularly daunting; and I knew I could count on Clarissa and
Jennifer to have at least one great recipe for pheasant – after all, it’s in
the theme song.
The header begins, “This is a sumptuous way of preparing
pheasant” which should brace you for what’s to come. Two average-sized birds
fed four of us to the point where we all went and laid down on the couch and
unbuttoned our pants afterwards. Save this for an occasion with elastic waistbands
and people you love.
Adjusted ever-so-slightly from Cooking with the Two Fat Ladies
by Clarissa Dickson Wright and Jennifer Paterson.
Pheasant Normandy
4 sweet, firm apples (firm is more important than sweet here
– you can adjust the sugar if needed)
1 stick butter
1 teaspoon brown sugar
2 pheasants
2/3 cup Calvados
2 ½ cups heavy cream, more or less
Salt and freshly ground pepper
Peel and core the apples, cut them into rings, and fry them in 4 tablespoons of butter. Add the sugar and cook until they are beginning to turn golden brown. Set aside.
Melt the rest of the butter in a Dutch oven large enough to
hold both birds. Brown the birds on all sides, making sure they’re coated with
butter. Cover and bake at 375 for 40 minutes, or on the stovetop for roughly
the same amount of time.
When the birds are tender, transfer them to a cutting board.
Carve the meat into serving-size pieces (leave the legs whole). Set aside.
Turn the heat up under the pan until the butter and pan juices
are bubbling, then add the Calvados and SET FIRE TO IT. (Super fun!) Tilt the
pan and roll the mixture around until the flames subside or you start to get
freaked out by how long this has been burning and put the lid back on. Be
brave, my friends: The burning part goes on for a bit. A couple of hints: Use
the super-long lighter you use for your grill, and don’t wear fabric oven
mitts.
Once the flames are extinguished (by whatever means), add the
cream and cook, stirring, until the sauce thickens. Season with salt and pepper
to taste.
Arrange the pheasant pieces on a nice serving dish with sides,
put the apples on top, and pour the sauce over the whole thing.
I took the Ladies’ advice and made a very simple side with
this, brown and wild rice cooked with a little stock and a simple lettuce salad
with vinaigrette. This is utterly delicious but very rich; possibly you will be
too full for dessert. Dining by candlelight recommended.
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